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People often ask me two questions. The first is: Did you make these chocolate chip cookies yourself? I reply, Yes, with an appropriate amount of honesty. The second question is: Can I have the recipe? My answer is, Yes, you can have what is probably the best chocolate chip recipe in the world.

The ingredients are listed in a mix of American and British measurements, so you might need to use this.

Get a big bowl, and put this stuff in it:

Mix them all up. Don’t taste it yet; it’s too slimy and gloopy.

Now add this stuff:

Mix again. Tasting is good to do now.

Chop up 300 g of really good chocolate, 2/3 milk chocolate and 1/3 70% cocoa plain chocolate. If you are living in North America and you are tempted to use chocolate chips or anything that has Hershey’s written on the label, resist. Put the chocolate in the bowl and mix one last time.

Grab some dough, make a ball and put it on an ungreased baking sheet. Repeat about 35 times. Bake all those little balls for about 9 minutes at 190°C.

Eat all that you can within a couple hours. Store the leftovers in an airtight container.

Your results may vary.

You’re welcome.

24 February 2015

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In which Neil Gaiman explains the quick and easy way to become a writer

Someone asked Neil Gaiman for writing advice because he found it difficult to get his thoughts onto paper. Gaiman replied:

Write the ideas down. If they are going to be stories, try and tell the stories you would like to read. Finish the things you start to write. Do it a lot and you will be a writer. The only way to do it is to do it.

I’m just kidding. There are much easier ways of doing it. For example: (This is where you click to go to Gaiman’s Tumblr and read the brilliance contained therein)

14 January 2015
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Creativity #38

Reject the idea that your identity is ‘consumer’. Become annoyed whenever you are referred to as a ‘consumer’.

14 November 2014
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A comic by Richard Thomson about trying to think of a funny comic

By Richard Thomson. Found at Illustration Art

1 October 2014
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‘We've got… music so I can exaggerate my pain and give it a name’

—U2, ‘The Miracle (of Joey Ramone)’

I like stories where stuff happens – sci-fi, children’s book, comics. The Lord of the Rings is great, except for the part where Frodo and Sam are moping around outside Mordor for half a book. All the tension drains into a puddle of tedium into which I shout that the hobbit boys seriously need to have a good long kiss and then hurl themselves up Mount Doom with a fervour fuelled by reckless loving ecstasy.

I’m not saying I must have nonstop action. I love Bill Murray films. He spends half his films doing nothing, but somehow he makes nothing feel big and important.

Last summer I read Patrick Ness’ Chaos Walking trilogy pretty much without stopping, but this year I couldn’t get through Ness’ The Crane Wife. The writing was superb, but nothing that happened felt big enough to keep my attention. When I was a teenager I read the first quarter of Great Expectations, during which No Discernible Action Took Place, so I stopped reading. I haven’t tried anything Dickens since then, but I’ve read a ton of Terry Pratchett.

It’s probably because I’m immature.

I like big feels. I love Kitten because all Chaidez’s songs – even the quiet ones – manage to seem bigger than life but without slipping into pastiche. That’s what my favourite kinds of books do too. Right now I’m reading A Monster Calls, another book by Patrick Ness. It’s got a yew tree turning into a huge monster right at the beginning and a mum dying of cancer and conflict with a best friend and a bully that totally has the upper hand and an absent father who’s back on the scene and a difficult grandmother. Stuff happens in every chapter, and it all feels big. It’s wonderful.

It’s also stuffed full of great lines like these:

Quote from A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness

Quote from A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness

The illustrations are superb.

I’ll finish with a question. Do you get excited about Dickens and small actions that feel small and lots of description? I’d honestly be grateful if you could explain to me how that works, because I’m missing that part of my brain. Only can you be sure your explanation has good pacing and feels kind of epic?

17 September 2014
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I bet Mika read Hop on Pop when he was a little boy (because putting obscure-ish pop music references in children’s book posts definitely draws the reader in)

Hop on Pop by Dr Seuss is a collection of fun storylets for very young readers. What the little stories teach is not without controversy. Earlier this year someone in Toronto asked the library to ban the book and apologise to fathers for promoting violence, yes violence, against poor helpless dads who have been hopped upon by their offspring. How silly.

I want to show you the story of Mr Brown (p.42–51). Mr Brown is living in an amiable but chaste marriage to Mrs Brown. Then some event turns his life upside down. We assume it is somehow precipitated by a manic pixie dream girl in the form of Pup.

Hop on Pop, p.42–43

Pup then facilitates Mr Brown leaving his life and wife behind for a journey of self-discovery.

Hop on Pop, p.44–45

Hop on Pop, p.46–47

We don’t know what happens out of town, but Mr Brown returns from his journey arm-in-arm with someone new.

Hop on Pop, p.48–49

And if we’re in any doubt about the nature of their relationship, we need only have a look at their snack.

Hop on Pop, p.50–51

While I’m pleased to see Mr Brown to accept his true identity, This story has some serious problems.

‘How silly!’ you say, ‘My young reader will never notice.’ That’s okay. Dr Seuss was all about silly. He also knew how to slip in some serious without becoming overbearing.

Someone else wrote about this before, but I came to most of my conclusions before I read it.

Part of Mother, Daughter and Son Book Reviews’ Kid Lit Blog Hop 45.

10 September 2014
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The reason why: page 11

The reason why I went to the moon for my birthday, page 11

Last week I read an interview with new children’s book author Rob Biddulph. In speaking about his drawing process, he said:

It takes quite a bit of sketching to perfect a character, and it’s not until I can draw them in any position and from any angle that I’m ready to get them onto the computer.

That’s a really smart way of working. It would bore me to tears. I work in a really dumb way. I get one good drawing and then assume the next one will work out okay. Last week when I drew the rocket bike from the side, I had no idea how to draw it from an angle. One of my early attempts looked like this:

rocket bike sketch

It was only this morning that I finally figured out how to do it. I’m pretty pleased with the result.

It’s not perfect though. In addition to the usual clean up, this page will require some extra work in Photoshop. Somehow mum ended up with one weird fat leg. I’ll make it match the other one. Also, the plane is shoved too far up into the corner. I will lower in the sky to strengthen and unify the page composition.

I hope you figure out how to do the things you want to do this week.

8 September 2014
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If you like great illustration and want to think about and understand why great illustration is great,

you would do well to read David Apatoff’s Illustration Art. (Click on the images to see them large.)

5 September 2014
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Two picture books that are not what they seem

Ten Apples Up On Top by Theo. LeSieg and Roy McKie (affiliate link) is supposedly a counting book for beginning readers. It is actually the story of three ne’er-do-well youths who break into a bear family’s home,

Ten Apples Up On Top, pages 24–25

steal their apples and milk, trash the house,

Ten Apples Up On Top, pages 30–31

then, in the process of fleeing justice, assault the youngest bear THREE times. (For the sake of my more sensitive readers, I have not shown the third assault.)

Ten Apples Up On Top, pages 44–45

Ten Apples Up On Top, pages 48–49

The story continues with more theft, a lynch mob and wholesale destruction of a farmer’s crop and vehicle. Do not be fooled by the happy ending; this book wholeheartedly endorses antisocial and illegal behaviour. But that’s not the only thing that makes it brilliant. Dr Seuss (as Theo. LeSieg) works the limited vocabulary for all its worth and the language sparkles. McKie’s seemingly simple brush and ink illustrations convey a remarkable range of emotion and action.

The copy of book is my personal copy with the original colouring, not the stupid updated brightly coloured version. My kids are not allowed to look at it without my permission.


Quentin Blake’s Mister Magnolia (affiliate link) seems to be the story of an eccentric bachelor who befriends young children so that they will buy him footwear. But it is secretly a counting book. It’s so secretly a counting book that we had it for a few years before I realised it was a counting book.

Five owls:

Mister Magnolia, owls spread

Six children:

Mister Magnolia, scooter spread

If these two examples have caused you to raise your eyebrows, wait until next week when I write about the real meaning of Hop On Pop.

Part of Mother, Daughter and Son Book Reviews’ Kid Lit Blog Hop 44.

3 September 2014
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The reason why: page 10

The reason why I went to the moon for my birthday, page 10

This week I start filling some gaps in my education. I’m doing GCSE English, Science and Maths. I’ve also taken on a little graphic design job for a client that I’ve worked with for many years. I will be be busy, but I will do my best to continue giving you a page every week.

1 September 2014
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