The lamentable story of a desperate man who is hoping for help from a suspect mythical being when what he really needs is an intervention of grace
There’s no such thing as the dog poo fairy!
I yell to the woman walking her dog away from the steaming pile on the pavement
I yell silently in my head because I’ve lived here 12 years
and it would be terribly unbritish to say anything like that aloud
There’s no such thing as the dog poo fairy!
scream brainbound words as I hold my breath and step
around the fresh pile of
of—
metaphor
Metaphor
It’s a really obvious metaphor
which is now beating me about the head—
that’s so gross because the metaphor is the …
on the pavement
and I’m a tidy human
not a chimpanzee
Faeces
get flushed
that’s all there is to it
and yet
the metaphor insists
reminding me of all the stinking piles I’ve left behind
the anger I’ve crapped all over my family
the ooze when I use my friends like tools
the hard jobs I’ve started and left undone
and I stop
and stand
next to the mess
the dog dirt
the soil
the four letter word I don’t say in church
because I’ve been a Christian all my life
and it would be terribly unholy to say anything like that aloud
even though I can’t think of a better word to describe
the waste I’ve laid
and I convince myself I deserve nothing better than to reach down to the dog dirt with my bare hands
NO
I don’t like where this metaphor is going
I don’t like where my life is going
I don’t like anything
And then
a kick
that sticks
dog doo
to my shoe
then through the window of a passing car
that is no longer passing
It’s stopping
driver’s door opening
and the only thing I can think to shout as I run for my life
from another stinking pile
is There’s no such thing as the dog poo fairy!
Later
Inside
the curtains drawn
I am hiding under my duvet
hidden under the weight of the realisation that
I can never set foot outdoors again
overwhelmed with regret that
I didn’t take my dirty shoe off before I crawled under the covers
Night falls and I know there’s no such thing as a dog poo fairy
who will take my dirty shoe and leave 50p under my pillow
But I can’t help hoping
10 April 2013
tags: poems,
silly,
stories,
uncertainty
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Way more cheery than you might think at first
If you grew up in the charismatic wing (and probably a number of other wings) of church, you were probably told six or seven million times that you were destined to be a WORLD CHANGER. In this talk I gave a couple weeks ago, I argue that the bible says no such thing, and furthermore you probably won’t change the world, and furthermost that’s completely okay. I also talk about not being visionary and God’s promise of uncertainty. A number of people told me that it was a good and useful message. It might be good and useful for you too. Bonus: it’s only 20 minutes long. Have a listen.
7 August 2012
tags: hope,
uncertainty
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